This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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