I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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