The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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