He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
