you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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