What did we do last night that was yellow?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize