Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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