so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
