The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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