So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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