if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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