If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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