Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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