see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
