At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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