Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
