hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
