Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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