apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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