I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
