hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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