So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
