yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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