dude i'm inner monologue high
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
vagina is talking i cant
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
