Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
