Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
