How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
