I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
