Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
