Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize