so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
