New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
