He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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