Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
