Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
