it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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