I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
