We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
