I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
