your thong is hanging out like whoa
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
