I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
