He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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