some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
