This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Randomize
