I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
