Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
