I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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