Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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