I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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