what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
