im gay
i know
yea but for you.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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