remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
