That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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