I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
