Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
