i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
