Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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