Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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