remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
